The Surprising History of Common Wedding Traditions
Right now, the big mood in our culture is all about questioning tradition. More and more modern couples are beginning to wonder why they should include certain customs in their wedding plans without even knowing the reason for doing them.
In fact, it’s becoming increasingly common to deliberately plan weddings against traditional norms, celebrating individuality rather than conformity. Often old traditions don’t feel personal to modern couples, so they opt for something more unique to their tastes.
Besides, when you trace a seemingly innocent tradition back to its origin, usually you find some pretty bonkers stuff.
Bridesmaids Were Bodyguards
Recruiting a team of women to surround you on your wedding day is a practice dating back to the early Roman ages. At that time, the biggest threat to a marriage was evil spirits. The bridesmaids were there to form a human shield and protect the bride on the big day. Pretty wacky stuff, right?
An idea that makes more sense:
Gather your closest friends of any gender, who will protect you in spirit (as they always should), instead of protecting you against evil spirits (because that’s just a bit intense). Also, don’t make them wear hideous dresses – it’s just mean.
Bouquets For No #badvibes
Long ago in ancient Greece, brides didn’t carry a bundle of flowers down the aisle, but rather a collection of specific herbs and spices chosen for their magical properties meant to ward off evil spirits. To be honest, it was actually pretty witchy, so points for that.
An idea that makes more sense:
If you don’t want to carry flowers or smell like seasoning, you could opt for a crafty paper bouquet made out of something meaningful to you, like the sheet music to your favorite love song.
“Gotcha!” Veils
Back in the day, veils were used by women’s fathers to literally trick men into marrying their… let’s say less-than-alluring... daughters. Basically, the groom wouldn’t be able to clearly see her face before officially entering the contract with her father. So that’s gross. The good news is veils were also useful for protecting the bride against – you guessed it – those pesky evil spirits.
An idea that makes more sense:
How about… no veil? Given the origin story, it’s a wonder the tradition lasted this long. But if your head feels a bit naked, you could always stun them with a glamorous bridal headband.
No Cake, Just Crumbs
Before the modern version of a wedding cake, centuries ago, plain old bread was actually the customary centerpiece of the ceremony. It represented good luck, but only when crumbled directly onto the bride’s head, and consequently all over the ground. At the point, the wedding guests were free to scramble for the crumbs to take home to place underneath their pillows.
An idea that makes more sense:
Actually, this tradition has truly evolved to its greatest form. Which is cake.
If you want to take it a step further, however, consider the more inclusive option of serving cupcakes. That way, you can have varying flavors and offer gluten-free and vegan options.
Best Man or Felon?
The traditional duties of a best man include picking up the suits, holding onto the rings, kidnapping the bride. Wait.
So it turns out the original role of the best man back in the day was to ensure the bride made it to the ceremony – by any means necessary. This disturbing custom dates back to when it wasn’t exactly always the bride’s choice to get married.
An idea that makes more sense:
If you want your favorite person by your side on your wedding day, that’s great. But it doesn’t have to be a man, and you don’t need to choose a favorite person at all if you don’t want to. That is, of course, if you’re sure your bride won’t try to escape.
Wedding Bands or Wedding Binds?
By now you’ve probably caught on to the fact that weddings weren’t exactly the joyous celebrations they are today, especially for women. The wedding ring wasn’t any different – it was basically just the collateral a husband gave to the bride’s father in a highly negotiated transaction. At least evil spirits aren’t an issue here?
An idea that makes more sense:
Obviously, it’s a good step that both the bride and groom exchange rings now, but there are all kinds of ways to deviate from impersonal patterns. Some couples opt for a more unique, meaningful design custom-made for them, or even get tattoos on their fingers instead (now that’s commitment).
Red Wedding Dresses (but not like Game of Thrones)
Relatively speaking, it wasn’t actually too long ago when all brides traditionally wore red to their wedding to symbolize prosperity. The shift to wearing white wasn’t until 1840, and can be credited to one single person – Queen Victoria, who boldly wore white when she married Prince Albert. Which is sort of badass if you think about it.
An idea that makes more sense:
The lesson to be learned here is that it clearly takes a queen to break the norm. So be a queen and wear whatever damn dress you want. Throwback to the the red dress, or wear a suit! And, honestly, if you love the white dress tradition, that’s cool too.
The entire point of your wedding day is to celebrate you and your partner. Make sure all your choices reflect who you are as individuals. Inject your personality, your own flair. Only you can know what makes you happiest, so tune out all the noise and enjoy your day!
